Indeed, when you’re trying to get your ex-boyfriend back, it’s very easy to overlook the warning signs that he might just be leading you on. If you’re not sure what to look out for, here are some of the most common signs that he’s just stringing you along:

Your ex-boyfriend is taking advantage of you.

Of course, he’s not going to tell you this to your face, but rather, it will be so subtle that you won’t even know it, unless you get yourself a good reality check. This usually happens when he knows that you don’t want to let go of the relationship and that you have deep feelings for him. He may continue to contact you, and he may get you to do things for him while he sits back and enjoys the special treatment.

Your ex-boyfriend is confusing you.

He might continue to tell you that he loves you, and he might pursue a purely physical relationship. When pressed for the reinstatement of your commitment to each other, however, he will invariably back away. As painful as it may be, your ex is merely enjoying the perks of being in a relationship without taking on the responsibilities. Worse, he’s probably using you as a doormat until someone else comes along.

Your ex-boyfriend won’t do anything for you.

He might expect you to do things for him anytime, but when it’s your turn to ask, he leaves you to fend for yourself. In this case, you’re definitely in a one-sided relationship.

Sure, getting your ex-boyfriend back might seem like the number one priority to you, but when he’s just stringing you along for his own ego and amusement, it’s high time you reconsider your goals. When faced with this reality, it’s time to stop thinking of ways on how to get your ex-boyfriend back. Instead, strive to get your self back.

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Chances are you will probably be treated to the “let’s be friends” spiel. Don’t let this dissuade you. Instead, look at this as an opening to get back into his good graces. If you ever had shortcomings as a girlfriend (hence, the failed relationship), you still have the chance to be the perfect ex-girlfriend and subsequently, you will have the chance to get your ex-boyfriend back.

So how does one become the model ex-girlfriend? It’s easy! Play it cool, keep your emotions in check, behave, and know the ex-girlfriend’s creed by heart:

An ex-girlfriend keeps her distance because she respects her ex-boyfriend’s decision to break up. Above all else, she respects him, and in turn, she gains his respect.

An ex-girlfriend knows their new relationship’s boundaries. She is aware of how important it is to keep to a strictly platonic arrangement.

An ex-girlfriend keeps her head up, and doesn’t resort to petty strategies such as making her ex-boyfriend guilty, harassing him, or arguing with him about things that have passed just to get him back.

An ex-girlfriend knows that there’s a line between a friend and a doormat, and has enough self-respect and pride not to become the latter.

An ex-girlfriend shouldn’t be spiteful. She should not try to make her ex-boyfriend jealous by sleeping with his friends.

An ex-girlfriend will not ruin her life because of her grief. She will not turn to alcohol or drugs to drown her sorrows.

An ex-girlfriend will work on living her own life, regardless if they will get back together, or not.

An ex-girlfriend is patient, and she won’t push for a reconciliation. Instead, she will play it by ear. An ex-girlfriend knows that the relationship will only be rekindled if there is still something there. Otherwise, she knows when it’s time to move on.

Indeed, becoming the perfect ex-girlfriend isn’t just a ploy used in getting your ex-boyfriend back. It is, above all, a must in order to get your life and your self back.

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I went to school and met a great guy – smart, ambitious, funny – but I kept comparing him to my ex (because as great as this current guy is, I still love the ex more). I finally managed to put that aside for the boyfriend’s sake, because he is very good to me.

Well, last night I got a phone call, and sure enough it was my ex (we talk pretty often, although I have always made it clear we were just friends). He told me he wanted to get back together and that he still loves me; he said he was working on quitting drugs, and has already stopped the drinking, and is actively going to a therapist. A few other people confirm this story.

He wants me to go on a romantic getaway with him, and to date him again. But I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend because he treats me well, and loves me very much and I can imagine a future with him. At the same time, I can imagine a future with my ex (one involving a lot of love).

Should I go on the trip, or tell him I can’t and cut him off? And who do you think is the best choice – dating someone I love more than anything, or dating someone safe who I have learned to love?

Ok we met in an English Lit class (college). We hated each other at first and always argued during class discussions. I needed a part-time job so I ended up getting a job as a waitress at a college bar and guess who I found out works there as a bartender AFTER i got hired? Yep. So anyway we began talking a lot more and then after a few months we began dating. He got fired a month later because he punched our professor at the bar (the prof said some rude things and deserved getting hit).
He spent the 4th of July with me and my family when I went to visit them and during the visit, my dad kept being a jerk asking him what he’s going to do with his life since he’s been unemployed and it was obvious my dad kept making it sound like my bf wasn’t good enough for me. He left a day early and told me he needed to do something and that he’d see me when I got back to town. When I got back he had left. His apartment was empty no note no nothing. I called him like a stalker a billion times and NOTHING. He basically just disappeared from my life and I was crushed.
A few weeks later, my roommate was able to find him and told him that I was pregnant (which was a lie but it was done so that he would come to see me) so he showed up. He told me he felt he wasn’t good enough for me and that we should break up. I was crushed.

Then, a month later my other friend (who is also an ex boyfriend) started hanging out with me more and I began to have feelings for him and we started making out and right when we were about to define our relationship, guess who walks back into my life? My ex. He tells me he’s sorry and that he wants me back. I still have feelings for him but I also have feelings for my other ex boyfriend. Who should I pick?

QUESTION: I have 2 ex boyfriends who both want to be with me and I want to be with them and I don’t know who to pick. My first ex-boyfriend dumped me at senior prom for no “real” reason, and my other ex boyfriend dumped me cause he thought I could do better but now wants me back. WHO do I pick?